Forgotten Airbrush

During my daily browse of I came across the following:

Insight – Pluto Pup Bow Back Bikini (£37.50 £30)

It’s the lack of podge removal that caught my eye- Yes, when women wear such low-slung pants the over-hip spillage is usually what results. I found it interesting that such natural padding has been allowed to remain, but maybe i’ve too little to occupy me on this Bank Holiday…

I know it’s ASOS, but why the fuck do they have like a bajillion bikinis and so few one-pieces (429 styles to 29)? Not that I am in the market for anything swimwear-y, but all the skimpy little numbers give me The Fear.

Although I am sure many women have the confidence to wear a two piece – and look damned good whatever their size – I am not a slender fifteen-year old and as such feel that there is no way I could ever expose anything from my hipbones to my bra band.

Plus, what are all these suits that you need to have boobs for? I mean, my girls were always squashed whenever I swam, being a gentle rise in the front of my suit rather than floatation aides…

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