Keeping up the record

Blue is calling for you...

Blue is calling for you…
Taken by Flickr user pain_amp1013

I’m going to predict the future here… The 100% record of zero valentines received will remain resolutely intact come tomorrow. Twenty-seven, no fulfilling relationship, never been told I Love You by anyone I loved. Rock on.


The phone goes. I drag my tired possibly ill carcass down the stairs and pick up…

Hello… Could I speak to Monky please?
Ah… Hello. My name is Blue Demon.
Wow… Hello… I’ve heard of you…
Ah… Oh… you’re too kind…
I thought you were dead?
Oh that was just a work I threw in to keep things in the mix so to speak. I’m actually immortal.
Ah… I see… So what are you up to these days?
Well, i’m doing quite well running a small chain of nail salons.
Nail salons?
Yes, surprising though that might sound, they’ve really taken off over the last couple of years.
And do you run them by yourself? How’s business?
I just oversee the stores, so i’m not really on the shop floor so to speak. Most of the staff are Filipino. Petite girls. Business is good at the moment; we’re thinking of opening a new branch in Basingstoke. Anyway, enough of that- The reason i’m calling is that i’ve heard tell that you’ve never had a valentine and I wanted to see if you would like to go out Saturday. Just a meal, some drinks. My treat.
Oh… wow… um, sorry… i’m rather taken aback.
That’s okay. I realise this is a little odd.
Er, i’d love to, that’s really very kind of you.
Oh, it is nothing; I just want to cheer you up, even if its just for a little while. You know, take you out, show you off. I think you need showing off.
Oh… Thank you! You’re much too kind…
Nonsense. Anyway, shall we say Saturday at 7? Meet for a drink first?
That sounds lovely. See you then!

Don’t be a martyr to the merchandise.

One Response to Keeping up the record

  1. AG says:

    OK, you rock. Officially. A shout out to Mexican wrestlers using a Valentine’s Day motif. Awesome. And, I believe, OK, wish, hope, desire with every core of my being that this “holiday” is swallowed in a roaring tide of public outcry and shelved for the disgusting commercial push that it is. Oh yeah – I am guessing a net savvy gal like you has heard of Strongbad on Homestar runner? If not, go to check out the toons section and enjoy a modern day net version of Los Luchadores. And have a good day tomorrow, free of the mandatory chocolate. Hasta Luego – al mal tiempo, buena cara, senorita.