Keeping up the record
Blue is calling for you…
Taken by Flickr user pain_amp1013
I’m going to predict the future here… The 100% record of zero valentines received will remain resolutely intact come tomorrow. Twenty-seven, no fulfilling relationship, never been told I Love You by anyone I loved. Rock on.
The phone goes. I drag my tired possibly ill carcass down the stairs and pick up…
Hello… Could I speak to Monky please?
Ah… Hello. My name is Blue Demon.
Wow… Hello… I’ve heard of you…
Ah… Oh… you’re too kind…
I thought you were dead?
Oh that was just a work I threw in to keep things in the mix so to speak. I’m actually immortal.
Ah… I see… So what are you up to these days?
Well, i’m doing quite well running a small chain of nail salons.
Yes, surprising though that might sound, they’ve really taken off over the last couple of years.
And do you run them by yourself? How’s business?
I just oversee the stores, so i’m not really on the shop floor so to speak. Most of the staff are Filipino. Petite girls. Business is good at the moment; we’re thinking of opening a new branch in Basingstoke. Anyway, enough of that- The reason i’m calling is that i’ve heard tell that you’ve never had a valentine and I wanted to see if you would like to go out Saturday. Just a meal, some drinks. My treat.
Oh… wow… um, sorry… i’m rather taken aback.
That’s okay. I realise this is a little odd.
Er, i’d love to, that’s really very kind of you.
Oh, it is nothing; I just want to cheer you up, even if its just for a little while. You know, take you out, show you off. I think you need showing off.
Oh… Thank you! You’re much too kind…
Nonsense. Anyway, shall we say Saturday at 7? Meet for a drink first?
That sounds lovely. See you then!
Don’t be a martyr to the merchandise.