Monthly Archives: September 2005

Into the trenches

So my first day in school went reasonably well. The department is very large and full of interesting artwork and equipment to make use of. Pleasingly, I don’t have to initiate anything; these two weeks all I have to do is observe and make notes. When I say “all i have to do” all is really quite a lot, and I am concerned I will not keep on top of things. Hmm.

The departmental staff seem to be very good, with my subject mentor being a very lovely individual. Unfortunately I did the same thing I did the first week of my course- Ranted faar too much for the company I was keeping. Went with the ranting when with people I don’t really know too well, and thus look like fool. Shut. Up.

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Live Giant Squid

This is very cool indeed: BBC Live giant squid caught on camera. I am very interested in undersea life and the Giant Squid is a very interesting creature indeed. It’s sobering to think that such animals lurk unseen in the black depths. What else is living down there undiscovered? It’s all quite exciting. To me, anyway.

Royal Society: First-ever observations of a live giant squid in the wild

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Societies worse off ‘when they have God on their side

“RELIGIOUS belief can cause damage to a society, contributing towards high murder rates, abortion, sexual promiscuity and suicide, according to research published today.

According to the study, belief in and worship of God are not only unnecessary for a healthy society but may actually contribute to social problems.

The study counters the view of believers that religion is necessary to provide the moral and ethical foundations of a healthy society.”

TimesOnline: Societies worse off ‘when they have God on their side’

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Firefly fun

“Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose? ”

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Chewie Loves Leia


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A classmate was making with the small talk in the canteen today… where are you from, what course are you on etc.

When he said he was doing the Art PGCE the other person said, “Oh, is it true you’ve got someone who likes wounds in your class?”


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The Gallery has been upgraded and customised. I am rather pleased with myself, even if it’s not exactly brain surgery. Photos are being added. Unsharp masks still to be applied. On the to do list.

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Special Torture

I had to give a talk about my work today to the rest of the class. I was scared. It went well in that people seemed to be interested (mind you they always are) but a lot of time was spent talking about how I would never do anything to harm anyone else, and how I would cope at a job interview or when interacting with children in relation to the content of my work. I also talked about my black work, my love of the small things, the way I investigate and catalogue things in my life, and sexual politics and freedoms.

One of my classmates had his hand up for a long time… When I eventually got to him I apologised that I hadn’t come to him sooner. My tutor then said that he should have cut his aching arm off and chucked it to me, then I might have come to him sooner. Collective groaning and tutting from my classmates, cue me pulling a ha ha face and squirming about on my seat. Which I had been doing for 15 minutes anyway.

It was all rather embarassing.

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Play Doh Slow

This is very cool indeed: Using the amount of Play Doh on screen to adjust the speed of some film footage: Brendan Dawes

Also by the same creator Psycho Studio

I always wanted one of those Play Doh Barbershop sets, the one where you pushed down and hair oozed out the holes in the little plastic people’s scalps. Back then you just snipped of the hair to trim whereas now you have a battery-operated set of clippers that buzz. I think you can see the degradation of childhood and humanity as a whole in that small example.

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First day fini

So I completed my first day. It was good. So far the people seem nice and not up their own arses, the tutors were not playing good cop/bad cop anymore, I made a hat for my task partner that looked like a large blue stringy translucent jellyfish (she liked the colour blue, textiles and cardmaking) and she made me a hat shaped like a wrestling ring, made out of tape and straws. Oh the grin on my face. Oh and yes, when asked what sort of things I liked doing, was interested in etc, so that she could construct some suitable headgear, I said wrestling without hesitation. Gah.

So the day was not as horrific as it could have been, and my school allocation is quite good and not too far away and I was actually quite inspired by the course director’s opening speech. A dangerous one about blind belief vs. challenging the norm (ie religion + government = taliban) to make people’s lives better. I kept wanting to shout “We love thee FSM!” Somehow I managed to keep control of myself.

On the way home I spied a shiny black Dodge Ram 1500 with a pair of golden testicles affixed to the towbar. Yes, truck nuts.

Pictures of nut traumas (totally worksafe): bbpics

I finished Tietam Brown last night when I was having difficulty sleeping due to nerves. Seriously good. Disturbing, violent, upsetting. I don’t tear up often when reading but this book managed it. If not minding 325 stitches wasn’t enough to make me wonder about Mick Foley, the things he’s put down in that book certainly make me wonder what darkness lurks inside him, and why. So very dark.

On to Scooter. Hoorah.

“It’s your mouth- Brush it your way” Thanks for reminding me that my mouth is nothing but a recepticle for product, and i’d like to choose steel wool and soap flakes if that’s alright with you conglomerate.

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TLAPD 2005

Arrrr… I hope all ye scurvy dogs be havin’ a fine day this Talk Like A Pirate Day… I will be arr-ing and cursing my fellow newbie coursemates as we struggle under the evil swell that is the return to university…

Why be pirates called pirates? They just arrrrrrrr!

Q: Where does a pirate keep his software?
A: On his Arrr drive!”

“Them’s luvverly earrings you be wearin’, me hearty. How much did ye pay for ’em?”
“They be costin’ me 2 Dollars for the pair.”
“Arr, that’s not bad for a Buck-an-ear!”

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender comments to the pirate, “Y’know, you have a steering wheel in your pants…” The pirate says to the bartender, “Yarr, ’tis drivin’ me nuts!”

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No piratical behaviour for this little one… Pirating is cancelled due to crewmen abandoning ship … After building it up for three weeks it’s *somewhat* of a letdown… I was looking forward to being saucy and piratical too…

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Works hiatus

I will never again have to flog pipecleaners to old ladies, tell customers that yes, we do have an upstairs and that you get to it up the stairs they walked past, tell them no, we don’t sell goldfish or put up with so many commonsense-less individuals in one location.

I don’t even feel happy.


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Dorky Ian


I saw my first Vampiro match last night. My first wrestling dvd… Hoorah. My reward for six years of service. It was against Raven, so it was bloody and somewhat weird…

The match itself was interesting (hang your opponent to win) but the quality of the moves were low. Lame clotheslines, punches that didn’t connect, weak protestations. Seeing Vamp in the flesh so to speak, he looked kinda dorky- Uncoordinated. Lumbering around seemingly randomly then amazingly light on his feet to launch a kick. He did do this fantastic thing where after he had been “busted wiiide open” he ran his hand down his face and then licked his fingers. Genius. He did look quite attractive with his crimson accessories, and I got to take a good long look at his tattoos.

I’m thinking it wasn’t one of his better matches, as it was a gimmick match, and he did show a couple of moves that were somewhat nifty. Raven was also quite bad. I’m hoping the more Vamp I view the more I will see goodness. Please…

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Drinking Water


ioerror: Astrodome and beyond (Reliant Park)

One of several interesting photographs taken by ioerror in the NOLA area. There was wall to wall coverage of Katrina in NYC and the race issue loomed large. I still cannot believe what I see in these photographs and the reports I read: Murders, lynch mobs, rapes, snipers picking emergency workers off. Apocalyptic would best describe the situation.

That the fallout was preventable and plannable for is the real tragedy. Surely it does not matter what race the people involved are, the fact that Federal government is so feared and that local government is so incompetant should be what is at issue. George Bush may not care about black people, but the mayor (who is black) ordered 100,000 people to evacuate without actually providing any means for them to do so. It’s not race it’s stupidity.

Can you think of anywhere else on the planet this would happen?

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humble hills

i love my materialistic items

So i’m not *quite* a D cup. I’ve a boyish figure. It’s as well my gals are so small and humble, just in case you were to accidentally confuse them with mountains. That would be disasterous. I would not want planes crashing into my chest nor climbers falling to their deaths. Crampons? Ouch.

As you can see, I enjoy wearing my new purchases, although the pasties were a little sore getting off. I will no longer be consuming high fat fast food come a week or so, so fingers crossed the manly excess around my middle will disappear. Aaand lose the less manly deposits on my thighs and arms and I will get back to be being more boyish and toned. Stress is a wonderful thing. I’m usually okay with my body (I have the usual amounts of flab hang ups) but looking at photos from my holiday I am a bit concerned. Not everyone agrees with me on this though.

My Dear Texan said upon spying me that I looked “quite the hottie” and questioned how I must feel with all these men staring at me all the time. Cue derisory laughter from myself. Men? Interested? Me? I am popular with lesbians but straight men seem to be interested much less frequently. I did however manage to get myself recruited to work at American Apparel (of course only the beautiful people work there) but the minor fact that I did not live in the US was a bit of an issue. I also really don’t have a body like any of the true hotties on their website. Really.

I think I shall accessorise my piratical garb with the pasties. I think I need some spirit gum, although I could try Pritt Stick.

fdny rock star

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Seven days and…

two hours with a dearly missed Texan lovely,
one Zen Micro,
one FDNY hat,
one bulk pack of ear plugs,
a variety of Spongebob merchandise,
one wrestling action figure,
one over-the-top biscuit,
one Yankees programme,
one copy of Entertainment Weekly,
two NYPD mugs,
one NYPD t-shirt,
one set of pasties,
two sex toys,
two strappy vests,
one flirty, floaty top,
two Mick Foley novels,
one wrestling magazine (Vamp’s rated at #162),
one palette,
one cake of brush soap (and assorted art accoutrements),
one box of Animal Crackers,
one Bad Gal stick
two Hawaiian music cds


one bottle of Hawaiian Surf

…I am back on the block.

I have two more days left at my shitty job, i’m going to be “rewarded” with a wrestling dvd upon leaving and it’s Talk Like a Pirate Day this weekend. I’m seriously apprehensive about my course and my ability to hoop jump, haven’t done any of the essays required yet, but damn it, Vampiro is coming to the UK in November (alas, tis in Kent) and I may be poorer in cash but I am richer in many excitingly materialistic ways.

Pirating, Pirating la la la la lah….

Life is gooood…

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Asia and Friends

Asia and Friends Exposed is one of the greatest works of pornography I have ever seen. I swear. I have not laughed so much at piece of porn, and the majority of scenes were actually well shot. Well, some of them at least. I don’t think it was intended to be humourous, but having your stomach covered in spray cream and then being squashed by the other performer so the cream squishes out in a giant porn-performer victoria sponge was most, most amusing.

(NSFW) Asia Carrera was one of the most energetic and interesting performers about- a fascinating woman. Now out of the business, married and recently becoming a mother, and a big geek. Smart women rock. Then again, men usually like their partners to be less intelligent than themselves. Hmmm.

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Before and after in NOLA

Before and after in NOLA

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