Tip of the iceberg

Darn it. I try to move on from past errors, stay independent (and thus happy) but I get ambushed from out of nowhere by more truths (lies) uncovered. I feel hurt by things I thought I had managed to work through. Seems like all I may have been doing is pushing certain thoughts and feelings to one side and pretending everything was all fixed. Current events didn’t seem to bother me, behaviours, comments etc, but when something comes up out of the past it seems somehow to be more difficult to deal with.

After years of lies what is one more on the pile? The feeling of pain, that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach- I’m so familiar with it, so why am I not immune to it? You can put up with chronic physical pain- the body copes, the mind adapts, but the cliche of heartache has its own special qualities.

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