George Benson

Artist's impression, not actual Monky

George Benson‘s “Give Me The Night” is just so damn fine. So lush and multilayered- That Quincy Jones goodness as heard on “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough”. The perfect underwear parade soundtrack. The music is meant to facilitate room-based moving of a booty shaking flavour in a more subtle way than the lap dance list. Strip to the appropriate amount of clothing (ideally pants and bra/vest as these can be used for artistic effect; Stetson optional), clear a space, turn the music up to eleven and just move. There is some music that just rubs up against your insides and you have to dance or you feel like you’ll explode. Yeah, I know, I haven’t had a sexual playmate in a long time.

Independent observers can attest that I can dance but I am too shy to dance sober. Once alcohol has been consumed much Pulp Fiction-esque twisting and eye shading will commence along with that old favourite the sexay robot. Moving to music in my room just fills me with such joy. Put on some lipstick, Stetson and shorty shorts and just jump, twist, writhe, sashay, you name it I do it. Usually half way through this session I think I am an idiot, then I think I look rather good. I really want a pair of pasties for this purpose, I should make some. Hmmm, number 28 on the list of things to do.

Million dollar legs from Singin' In The Rain


“Filming of the Cyd Charisse dance number had to be stopped for several hours after it was discovered that her pubic hair was visible through her costume. When they finally fixed the problem the director said, ‘It’s ok guy’s, we’ve finally got Cyd’s crotch licked.'”

Comments are closed.