http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog blog Wed, 16 May 2012 22:07:22 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/financial-distraction/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/financial-distraction/#comments Wed, 16 May 2012 22:07:22 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8146 Continue reading →]]> MoneyCenter (fuck you American spelling) and it’s proving to be quite the Coppell distraction.

Not that I don’t think of him, but smoke and mirrors etcetera.

So tired. Need to get to bed earlier. Ugh.]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/financial-distraction/feed/ 1 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/aims/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/aims/#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 22:23:04 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8123 Continue reading →]]>
What would I like to achieve?

Number One: Move out of the tiny, gross, noisy room i’ve been living in since 2009. It affects my well-being in a negative way. EVERY day.

How will I go about doing this?
- Pay bump in September.
- Cancel my spa membership.
- Save money for deposit.
- Spend less so that I can afford to actually live in said flat.
- Use the Summer to go through boxes of crap and get rid of stuff I do not need.

Number Two: Holiday fund

How will I go about doing this?
- Cancel my spa membership.

Number Three: Make some art

How will I go about doing this?
- Work more smartly at work to free up time I can use on my own work.
- Live somewhere where I have some separate space to create.
- Get rid of crap I do not need.
- Get website up and running.

I think my priority should be moving out. The earliest this could happen would be September, so I need to get my skates on and get organised. ]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/aims/feed/ 0 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/my-dichotomies/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/my-dichotomies/#comments Sun, 13 May 2012 21:05:37 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8105 Continue reading →]]> X but Y seem to be the rule.

Great taste… but not enough money
Overworked… yet under-stretched
A valuable colleague… yet under-appreciated
Not very feminine… yet into nail varnish
Can discuss makeup trends… and human experimentation by the Nazi regime
Loves the art of Christianity… yet a serious atheist
Loves medium-rare rib-eye… but also McDonalds
Doesn’t easily express emotions verbally… but writes a novel a year expressing them
Is loud… but shy when meeting new people
Is very restrained with regards intimacy… yet craves touch
Got a lot of love to give… but no-one to share life with
]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/my-dichotomies/feed/ 0 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/preljocaj-blanche-neige/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/preljocaj-blanche-neige/#comments Sun, 13 May 2012 15:07:08 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8090 Extracts

















The reviving kiss














]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/preljocaj-blanche-neige/feed/ 0 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/snow-white/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/snow-white/#comments Sun, 13 May 2012 15:02:00 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8077 Continue reading →]]>

Saturday I went with my Mum to Sadlers Wells to see the Ballet Preljocaj production of Snow White; it was meant to be a dark retelling, and had appropriately fetish-inspired costuming by Jean-Paul Gaultier, and a topless deer. Yes, you read that right- when the huntsman killed a deer and substituted its heart for that of the King’s daughter, the dancer was dressed in furry britches, a helmet with antlers and a harness that left her breasts on display. Edgy haha.

A romance with a happy ending was not something I was looking forward to seeing, and so I wept copiously at various points during the performance; I was very glad I was sat in darkness. The entire weekend i’ve felt not the best, either on the verge of tears or down and flat. As time goes on I seem to feel more sad. Ugh.

]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/snow-white/feed/ 0 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/one-month-since/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/one-month-since/#comments Sat, 12 May 2012 09:16:52 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8070
I continue to miss him.

And the dog.]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/one-month-since/feed/ 0 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/the-small-intelligence-challenged-creature-i-love/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/the-small-intelligence-challenged-creature-i-love/#comments Wed, 09 May 2012 21:18:39 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8058 Continue reading →]]> Meathead’s bowl today. It had been sitting forlorn and unglazed on my desk, and so I felt the need to finish what i’d started, even if that means sending it to a dog I will never see again, with no guarantee that she’ll ever use it.

It’s in the queue to be fired, so I guess it’ll be done within a week. Then it’s off to Coppell’s Mother for safe-keeping. How can I miss so a not-particularly-intelligent creature that I only spent two weeks in the company of?

Today has not been the best of days.

The weekend brings Lahndahn tahn and some ballet with my Mum, and drinks with Leia Ewok Village, who I haven’t seen in aaages. I’m looking forward to seeing my Mum, the ballet and Leia, but I am worried at the same time. I don’t feel like partying at all, and talking to my Mum over the phone about how i’m doing has been very hard, as she always gives the impression that she doesn’t understand how I feel.

I have to be “on” and don’t want to be the sad sack putting a dampener on everyone’s evening. I also don’t want to bore people. Three weeks ago I probably felt better than I do now. For fucks sake. ]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/the-small-intelligence-challenged-creature-i-love/feed/ 0 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/officially-not-dating/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/officially-not-dating/#comments Wed, 09 May 2012 20:20:38 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8052 Continue reading →]]>
This weekend it’ll be one month since things ended… it certainly doesn’t seem like that much time has passed. I still haven’t passed a week without crying, and continue to find it hard to talk about Coppell without experiencing difficulty.

:( ]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/officially-not-dating/feed/ 0 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/root-and-branch/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/root-and-branch/#comments Tue, 08 May 2012 22:27:59 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8041 Continue reading →]]> Clematis that I picked up during my food shopping expedition post-work. I’ve put them near a wall I hope they can scramble up. It’s raining heavily now so at least they won’t want for water.

Had to fight through lots of Green Alkanet to clear a couple of feet of bare earth; after i’d identified the horrible thing, I discovered that chemical warfare is recommended for dealing with the fucker (it has deep roots). I may get my glyphosate on the next time i’m shopping for food :)

Although the Green Alkanet was a bugger to get through, the experience of half an hour’s weeding was therapeutic. There was an attack of actual sun, and the physical labour and focus on battling the roots was a welcome period of calm.

I hope I manage not to kill the climbers off, but I think the real test is whether or not the seeds get a hold. Think I will leave that ’til i’ve gone Saddam on Alkanet’s arse. ]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/root-and-branch/feed/ 0 http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/not-dating/ http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/not-dating/#comments Sun, 06 May 2012 22:47:47 +0000 monky http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/?p=8030 Continue reading →]]>
So the worst one (where I daily received messages from men who clearly couldn’t be bothered to read my profile) I decided to delete my account, and the other i’m just looking for friends and nothing more. Putting myself “out there” but not. I’m *so* not ready for any sort of relationship right now.

When will I feel like actually meeting up with anyone? Who knows. Many months yet I would imagine. I need to get back to that happy medium, and manage to pass more than one week without weeping.

Back to The Good Wife. ]]> http://www.nopokemeo.org/blog/2012/05/not-dating/feed/ 0