Monday 12th October
There's just over a month 'til I turn twenty-nine years of age; as is usual my thoughts have turned to what has happened over the course of the year and of course what I would like giftage-wise.
Re-reading last years pre-birthday wish list it seems that nothing much on it has changed, I mean I took myself and MW#1 to Hawksmoor but that doesn't count as I paid (a lot!) for the large amount of pleasure I got.
I'm still shit-out-of-luck on "the sixty minutes of massage" "red-tipped black petticoat and polka dot circle skirt from Fairy Gothmother" "weekend away somewhere pretty with someone who cares for me" "bouquet of richly scented, non-red roses" and "a birthday kiss". Yes, I went to Berlin with MW#1 but I paid my half and there is absolutely no way our time away could be classed as romantic; the massage I had on Leia Ewok Village's birthday spa trip was again paid by myself and was only a half hour (though good).
Thinking back to my birthday outings last year - one with MW#1 in Lahndahn Tahn and one with Leia Ewok Village locally - it's super clear which one I enjoyed more: The outing with Leia Ewok Village. So as I remember back I recall the disgraceful "Got your passport...?" comments from MW#1, the unwillingness to hold me and his detachment for the majority of the evening. *Such* great memories.
Then of course I remember taking him out for his birthday this year, how he wouldn't hold my hand, would walk ahead of me and didn't want to give me anything more than a peck kiss-wise. Total bullshit on the behaviour front but divine steaks. Is that enough compensation...? I think not.
So on "event" outings I seem to have less of an enjoyable time with the person I supposedly want in my life than I do with my friends. Surely they should be equal in enjoyment- different, yes but enjoyable nonetheless. But no, it seems not... What's the betting that MW#1 doesn't arrange a meet up until say November, which will be three months since we last saw each other...?
I critique away here but i'll admit that when I was feeling sore and rather glum throughout Wednesday I wished I could curl up next to MW#1 and feel warm and fuzzy and safe in his arms. Sigh.
Anyway, i'm tired and need a shower as aside from a trip to Tesco i've spent the entire weekend in my pyjamas. I am nothing if not klassy.
