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Oh YAY. The Valentines Day promos have started to flow into my inbox. First its VD then Easter (though at least the Creme Egg ads are all kinds of fun). WILL IT EVER END

For example- Figleaves:

"Get Lucky In Love

It's that time again- so get ready to impress with a present that's perfectly pitched. You'll find everything you need in our Valentines gift shop.

Come on guys, it's not that hard."

or

"Don't leave her wondering this Valentines Day. Make sure she knows just how much you care with lingerie you'll both fall head over heels for."

So, in order to "get" someone to love me I have to encourage them to buy me underwear, as this is the ultimate expression of care and devotion, and if they don't then clearly they don't care quite enough? Everything I need...? Do you have lube, tissues, toys, contraceptives and batteries? And someone to hold me on Valentines night?

You don't...? That, Sir, is a matter for Trading Standards...

monky posted 168 words at 23:31 on 22/01/09 | (0)

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