Saturday 7th April
Eugh. Going through a "I want to be appreciated" phase. It will pass... I just have to keep myself leashed on the inappropriate texting front, even if I can't stop thinking impropriety...
Which is just plain fucked up, as it was around this time last year that MW# royally fucked me over. After all the compliments about how I feel/look/smell, after all the statements like how i'm comforting or like how he longs to wake up next to me or that he loves me, I still remember his comment on how he was "visiting relatives"...
One year on I still find myself wondering if he really means anything he says. I'd love to believe him, I want to believe, but nothing is ever backed up with action. I imagine he tells other women the same things. And yet I wake up in the morning and wish I could feel his warmth up against my back. The truly pathetic thing is that this ridiculous thought provides comfort to me when i'm lying sleep-stained and rumpled, alone (except for Patrick of course) and warm in my big lonesome nest.
Le sigh.
