Sunday 11th March
It is interesting how over the course of a month I can veer from outright despair about MW#1 to not really giving a fuck what the hell happens. Interesting to me anyway... Is it ever interesting to anyone else...?
As I am a scientific individual I had put it down to some sort of hormonal ovulation-related flirtation, but through my research I've discovered that this can't be the case with me as i'm merrily dosing myself with hormones to fool my body into thinking i've already ovulated (no more knocked-up paranoia for me).
So why is it one day I feel unconcerned that he hasn't seen me in two months when the next day i'm writing a text message telling him he's got one month to shape up or he loses me for good? Perhaps it's related to the contradiction that is me that means I can discuss the chemicals behind attraction and pair bonding whilst at the same time being a romantic without outlet whose heart aches.
Maybe the timing is purely statistical. To disturb you MW#1, here is some over-analysis for you: Given that I last saw him the second week of January (my, that seems like a world away) and I used to see him at least once a month or so then my fed-upness would be expected to increase as time passed before levelling out when I reached fatalistic acceptance, before I worked up to getting pissed-off again. Or something.
Another grim agony aunt column courtesy of the Times: I feel i've made the biggest mistake of my life. Must stop listening to Amy Winehouse.
If i'm weak and contact him I always do it at the same time of the month; I usually go through the same spazzing-out "what a fucking idiot he is/I am" across the same time period too. I am the one with the "love is a biological concept designed to continue the species" design inked into my dermis...
Excellent article covering flirtation, mate symmetry and how changing fertility influences women's behaviour:
Flirting Fascination
Random image goodness:
if charlie parker was a gunslinger, there'd be a whole lot of dead copycats
