« Winey Nostalgia | Archive Index | You're not gonna get hung up on me, are you?»


Have been wistful this evening after reading what was going on in my life this time last year... My first intimate encounter with MW#1 (or Mid Atlantic as he was then codenamed)...

Walk Of Shame

I remember the evening with great fondness as I had a wonderful time, yet I feel sad because I know that a short time later I found out that my trust had been abused. Reading the entries moving towards the betrayal I feel wistful because it is clear how happy I was and even though I was trying my best to be neutral and restrained the hope shines through.

Of course it was not the last time I was to be intimate with MW#1; I miss the gamut of physical intimacies ranging from the sexual through to the merest touch on my shoulder... I have no regrets about my behaviour as I have been honest throughout and do not regret spending time being intimate with him as it was/is deeply important to me. He could make me feel like no other.

The only thing I regret in relation to him is that I never told him how much I cared. I should have told him even when he was drunk and would forget what I'd said; maybe it would have been better that way. I should have prefaced it with "I want to tell you something... know that I expect nothing in reply... I just wanted you to know that I care for you deeply; that I love you..."

I suppose I feel sad because of the remembrance of past good times and a good thing in my life that seems to have drifted away...

monky posted 280 words at 21:02 on 10/03/07 | (0)

---

Post a comment Name Email* * Information required Line breaks and URLs will be automatically converted, so you don't have to hit enter or write any html to create a new line or link (If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by my good self before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Patience please.)