Sunday 4th March
So "the day I had on Friday" was rather bad. Not end of the world bad, but it involved a class-full of Year 8's, me being very tired and a health and safety incident.
I had my second (and last) lesson with my class of unpleasant Year 8's. I had been on at them most of the lesson about not throwing the glue sticks, doing what they'd been asked etcetera and we had finally reached the point of tidying up. They were being crap, uber slack at cleaning up and pretty rude whilst they were half-heartedly at it.
I was standing at the front of the class shouting at the lovely children to move it when the large, unsecured whiteboard that was balanced behind me on the edge of a radiator fell forward, hitting me directly across my neck. I was stunned. The kids lifted it off me and placed it back up against the wall and asked me if I was okay... I looked accusingly about at the kids but they professed innocence; I believed their claims of accident as the board had been pretty wobbly when I was drawing diagrams on it (I think it might have been one of their backpacks bumping it). I wasn't in pain but I could feel myself welling up from the shock and being on edge.
I stood rubbing my neck to distract myself from the emotional up swell as I waited for the kids to finish tidying and tried very hard to keep my composure and not lose it. They still didn't give much of a fuck as I stood stock-still with one hand on the desk waiting, staring silently as my eyes burned. One of a group of the girls pulled themselves out of their conversations long enough to comment "Look... she's crying" I simply stood and willed the tears to brim but not brim over.
Then the board fell on me again. It hit me harder this time in the same place. I felt like I was under siege from the kids, the board... I couldn't take it any more and after the kids lifted it off me for the second time, with a sharp intake of breath and a "Right... that's it" I walked out of the classroom into the corridor to try and compose myself... I left the kids tidying and went round the corner to the staffroom in an embarrassing flood of tears. I asked a colleague to come and help me if she didn't mind as I needed to get the class dismissed... I felt so darned stupid!
I went back into the classroom with her and helped shoo the kids out; a couple of them asked if I was okay (even the most disruptive one)... my colleague took me back to the staff room, put the kettle on and went to take my next class (it was team teaching anyway). I sat and dried myself off and sucked slowly on my carton of Ribena. Eugh. I went into the next class looking rather red and drained but the older kids I shared my woes with were sympathetic; one even offered to sort the kids out for me if I wanted. I declined this offer and said he'd be better fixing the whiteboard.
Will have to fill out the accident report on Monday... I feel slightly dumb for getting so upset, but hey, I survived two decapitation attempts... woo!
A quote from Savage Love that makes me terribly wistful:
"GGG stands for 'good, giving and game,' which is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure' and 'game for anything — within reason.'"
I asked (well, texted) MW#1 whether he'd decided not to see me any more as we haven't spoken to/seen each other in long while; he responded that this was not the case. I told him that he must take care not to lose me... because he will do if this continues. It's ver-fucking-boten but I miss him, his GGG and his hugs... le sigh.
