Monthly Archives: May 2015


So, the date went well, with a second date in the process of being arranged. Perhaps we need to spend more time together to properly click, but at the moment I feel like I could take him or leave him? Sigh.

On paper, he’s great – smart, academic, socially aware, a raging feminist, and a science nerd, and is also tall with a good head of hair. Knows how to deploy sarcasm effectively.

Not-so-great – quite awkward on the intimacy side of things – if a dude’s into me, vigorously rubbing my arm like he’s petting a horse is not the best way to go about expressing affection. He needs a lot of guidance, and needs to be much more assertive – do I have the patience to put the effort in?

When you get to your thirties I kind of assume that every man will be proficient in such things, particularly as i’m pretty straight forward about what I want, and what works for me, and feel i’d rather be on my own if things aren’t quite good enough. Oh the joys of pondering compromise.

Subtext: I’m not saying that unless he’s a clone of Petrichor he’s not good enough. However, the things that were so very appealing about him are things that I value highly, so if there’s not enough evidence of them, it gives me pause.

Maybe the problem is that we’re not really that good a match, however much i’d like it to be so? God, sometimes I really just can’t be arsed. Where are all the funny, proactive men hiding? In relationships, that’s where.

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SO. Today went WELL.

I’m Head of Department in September.

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So, my ploy worked and I have an interview next Wednesday :)

Looks like it’ll just be me, as they’ve not uploaded the advert to the TES yet, so in some ways much less stressful, but in other ways the most pressure ever, as I really want the job and the outgoing Head of Department really wants me to get the job. Plus, HOD is a position I don’t feel entirely comfortable with, but we shall see.

Interesting Times!

So, my inspirational mentor at one of my training schools has landed a new job in Cologne of all places and has let me know she’s handing her notice in Friday; she’s suggested I send a “speculative” email to the school on the same day expressing interest. She says it’s “my school” and would be happy to hand the department over to me; it would be a chance to start somewhere small and make it in my image, and would be good experience, even if it turned out to be for the shorter term.


Post-Friday there is one school week before half term, so that means only two weeks ’til I have to resign. Tricky. Also, they might actually want to advertise, in which case i’m fucked, as there’s no way I want to fuck over my colleagues and the trust I have built with my current school. I have issues with the low status of Art and grade obsession at the school, but still, I agree with my mentor in that it’s worth applying.


For the first time in nearly a year, next week I have a date. With a man who is a professional nerd! He ITs for a living, and also data crunches and writes for the Guardian and (shouts) VICE of all fucking titles. I have already taken the piss, and apparently he enjoys a challenge. SO. We’ll see how that goes.
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Bob and Roberta Smith

Bob + Roberta Smith
Dear Pissed Off Voter
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Captain America Has Left The Band

Glum Cap

It’s a non-work day, i’ve felt increasingly tired and fed up as the election week has passed, so why did I wake up just after 6am today, after around five hours sleep?

Well, I dreamt I was a member of a band (what I did I do not recall) in which Captain America in his Steve Rogers guise was the drummer, and a good one too. We were just about to go on stage, gathering in the Gorilla Position, attempting to get in the right headspace, that is all of us except Steve, who was AWOL.

We were going around the group asking if anyone would or could step up to take his position, and trying not to freak out. I was totally in crush with Steve, and was therefore mortified when he finally turned up, in smirk with a random woman. I felt like I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole, Sarlacc-style.

WTF, Steve‽

Well, I suppose this is an upgrade from nightmares of being forced to attend an ex-‘s wedding… Post-election upset? Well, looking at the result with an optimistic eye, over 63% of the population did not vote for the Conservatives, but I still feel a bit betrayed by my fellow country people – it’s just so, SO obvious that the Tories shit upon the weak and asset strip wherever they can, so to think that anyone voted for them boggles my mind.

I help young people, inspire and support, so I feel I contribute to society, and more tangibly than people who juggle things that don’t exist (financial sector I am looking at you) but this doesn’t mean I am special. I just question where is my fair reward? My pension contributions went up to bail out the bankers, individually I pay more council tax than each member of the couple downstairs who use more resources than me, housing gets more and more expensive to rent, is insecure and totally ruled by landlords, and bills keep going up and up.

To top it off, the course I am enjoying and is helping me get through the job rejections and work bullshit might not run next year as the numbers progressing to year two are too low at the mo, as post-graduate funding has gone through the floor thanks to the government.


I think I need a postprandial nap…
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