The pupil who gave me a bollocking for asking her to behave like I would expect everyone else to behave is back in school this week after two weeks of “working” on her behaviour at the local Pupil Referral Unit (in between episodes of being picked up by the police), though thank fuck not in my form. Here is a taster of what she is being asked to agree to:
“I agree to accept the following guidelines to help me control my behaviour and to take responsibility for my actions.
  • I understand that I must comply with the School’s Code of Conduct, outlined in my school planner. I understand that if I fail to behave as set out in these expectations, this will be drawn to my attention. In particular I will abide by the rules regarding behaviour in lessons.
  • I will arrive at school fit to learn i.e. I will not turn up to school under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
  • I understand that I must wear the correct uniform.
  • I understand that I must be polite to all staff and do as they ask straight away without arguing.
  • I will not smoke during the school day or outside the school gates after school.
  • I understand that I must not distract others or be distracted by others during lessons.
  • I understand that I must not touch property belonging to other people and I will not leave lessons unaccompanied.
  • I understand that I must not use physical force on any student or member of the school community even if they touch me”.
From these guidelines you can work out that this pupil:
  • Persistently disrupts the education of others.
  • Has a drink and drug problem and turns up at school pissed and/or high.
  • Chooses to ignore school uniform policy.
  • Is verbally abusive to her peers and staff.
  • Has a nicotine addiction which she feeds in school.
  • Makes excuses for her behaviour by saying “But it wasn’t just me!”
  • Steals from her peers.
  • Assaults people.
So what happens if she breaks these guidelines? Note, they’re not rules, God no, because then they would actually mean something, so I think all that happens is that she is told off. Typically pupils on guidelines in my school do well for a couple of weeks meaning they get taken off guidelines and thereupon commence with the ridiculous behaviour from that point onwards.

These pupils cause trouble for their peers and staff for years on-and-off; most of them do not want to be there so set about making the lives very difficult for everyone around them. Verry occasionally one of them will break guidelines one-too-many times and they’ll be excluded.

She’s 14 btw.


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