Monthly Archives: September 2010

Date Number Two – Aborted


So Date Number Two isn’t happening; he cancelled in a forever permanent way. Can’t help feeling disappointed and a little saddened…

Also I feel a bit angry as he was the one who pushed things forward so quickly; when I was easy-going i.e. being non-committal, he arranged to meet for Date Number Two on Friday and then paid me a sweet compliment.

When i’d heard nothing about tomorrow I texted him to see if he was still interested. “Sorry to be an arse but…” came the reply. I know it was only one date but really… RUDE.

Le fucking Sigh.
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Date Number One – Result

o m g

Date Number One went well. Really well. We are going out again on Friday…

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Date Number One


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Tall & Capable & Tardy

I’m waiting on a reply from T&C about the drink he suggested we have and it is frustrating. Don’t want to appear over-keen like he is so i’ve just got to wait and see. Which is annoying, as I was actually looking forward to meeting him.

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Tall & Capable


It turns out Mr Tall & Capable – hence forth to be denoted as T&C – wasn’t put off by my plea to chillax, my confession of a softening middle and my ranting about carbon footprints (hey- I didn’t choose the topic) and so we’ve been merrily emailing backwards and forwards for the last week or so.

Ah well. I can always put him off when meeting in person, right? Even my showing up is a big step…

Dr Petra – Ten steps for successful dating
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Cheese Cheese Cheese Bowie Pants

Bowie David Bowie – O’Keefe center, Toronto, 1976 by jlacpo [cc]

This is a WONDERFUL photo. Kudos, Sir.

This evening after a day of assessment-induced ranting at school I made myself Chicken Tartiflette – chicken, pancetta, onions, garlic, potatoes and cheese cheese cheese baked until melty and delish – and am feeling decidedly relaxed after a nice big plate of it accompanied by the end of a bottle of Viognier.

For some reason i’ve been listening to Bowie all evening – Station To Station and Panic In Detroit on loop – and browsing underwear online. I am actually disappointed that Mr Tall & Capable hasn’t replied to my last email but whatevs.

At least I am actually contemplating the buying of aesthetically pleasing underwear. PROGRESS.

“According to biographer David Buckley, the Los Angeles-based Bowie, fuelled by an ‘astronomic’ cocaine habit and subsisting on a diet of peppers and milk, spent much of 1975–76 “in a state of psychic terror”.

Stories—mostly from one interview, pieces of which found their way into Playboy and Rolling Stone—circulated of the singer living in a house full of ancient-Egyptian artefacts, burning black candles, seeing bodies fall past his window, having his semen stolen by witches, receiving secret messages from The Rolling Stones, and living in morbid fear of fellow Aleister Crowley aficionado Jimmy Page. Bowie would later say of L.A.,

‘The fucking place should be wiped off the face of the earth'”
Wikipedia – Station to Station
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Fat Free Dressing

Fat Free Dressing from Maidenform is good stuff I have discovered. I bought a camisole and shorts and find that they compress my flab and smooth me out really well; the cami is comfortable enough to wear to work and is long enough not to roll up – plus, it is more practical than an all-in-one. It’s not exactly a corset but does well considering how easy it is to wear and how reasonably-priced it is. I’m going to wear the vest to school and see how I get on.

Yes, I went for a combination of zebra print for the cami and leopardspot for the shorts. Hey, it’s me.

Figleaves Plus, well done to Figleaves for using models who actually look like they’d use the products they’re selling. And non-White models! Wonders will never cease.

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Real IRA Populist Vote

“Let’s not forget that the bankers are the next-door neighbours of the politicians. Most people can see the picture: the bankers grease the politicians’ palms, the politicians bail out the bankers with public funds, the bankers pay themselves fat bonuses and loan the money back to the public with interest. It’s essentially a crime spree that benefits a social elite at the expense of many millions of victims.”
The IRA going for the populist vote: Guardian Real IRA says it will target UK bankers
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Penn Football Player Had Brain Disease, Autopsy Shows

I love wrestling but is my enjoyment of it leading to the early deaths of “sports entertainers”? One too many hits to the head and all that. There are similarities in the brains of Chris Benoit and the brains of American Footballers formerly of the NFL who’ve gone on to die at an unexpectedly early age, either by their own hands or through brain disease… It’s an area of science that is still developing and so causation is not definitely linked with correlation and there are many issues in play.

Both MW#1 and the Monster were American Football players (God help me) and I used to spend time worrying about their physical and mental health in regards what their playing was doing to them- If the person I love is going to be drooling and immobile before their time I would like to know about it. So I still take an interest – A hangover I guess you could call it.

NYT – Penn Football Player Had Brain Disease, Autopsy Shows
NYT – N.F.L. Asserts Greater Risks of Head Injury
NYT – Politics, Wrestling and Accountability
Wikipedia – Chris Nowinski
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A guy i’ve been in “conversation” with on MySingleFriend wants to meet me for a drink. AK.

He’s nice and tall and appears more than capable of throwing me over his shoulder and running at very high speed away from danger. This of course in not *quite* what is needed for a successful relationship but hey, it’s a start and an improvement from a lot of what i’ve seen so far.

He’s a bit eager for my liking so i’ve put the kibosh in his plans by asking him to slow down a little. Since he raised the idea of meeting i’ve been slightly panicked – What’s the worst that can happen everyone says… That he could like me and I don’t like him I think. I’ve been questioning whether i’m ready to meet new people, whether or not i’ll give them a chance when i’m still working on getting over years of MW#1.

Anyway, in all probability i’ve put him off now. I wonder whether this will be par for the course generally – I need to take things super-slowly (thanks for damaging me for years to come Monster and MW#1!) and I don’t think many men will want to put the time and effort in.


I do want to meet for a drink, just not quite yet. I dunno…
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Don’t Make Me Over

Don’t Make Me Over
Dionne Warwick

Oh God… I heard this beautiful track today whilst at Tate Modern watching The Ballad Of Sexual Dependency by Nan Goldin… It was so perfectly appropriate to the images as well as being meaningful to me and I found myself welling up in the darkened auditorium…

“Accept me for what I am…”

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Le Weekend and a trip into Lahndahn tahn on a photography jolly; going to see the Sally Mann exhibition The Family and The Land and Exposed: Voyeurism, Surveillance and the Camera at Tate Modern before they close. I hope to have myself a nice lunch at the Tate and go on the hunt for a new Winter coat along Oxford Street post-Mann; the fact that my coats are all a little too snug for me has *no* relation to the lunch i’m having of course…
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Do You Remember The First Time

Do You Remember The First Time?
His ‘n’ Hers

Long days at the chalkface at the mo sorting seating plans, termly outlines, tidying crap and dealing with problems within my form- Thirteen year-olds drinking at weekends, self-harming etcetera. UGH.

At the moment i’m having a nap when I get home as i’m wiped out before i’ve made dinner; sitting down inevitably leads to dozing. Not sleeping terribly well try as I might to resist the evil power of my blanket; I hope that as a few weeks go by things will even out. There seems to be so little time in the evenings, especially when I have to do work for school and the evenings are getting dark.

Emails i’ve meant to reply to have sat in my inbox for a month and I have loads of messages I need to reply to on OKCupid but never seem to get round to. Motivation is not the best at the moment… but I get to get out of school an hour early tomorrow as I have to teach through what should be my lunch hour. I am even going to try to leave when I should actually leave but knowing me i’ll have something to do that keeps me in school. Maybe Waitrose will be a good motivator :D

What I am managing to do is listen to a lot of music from the nineties; I vividly remember carefully copying out the tracklisting from Bobby Convey’s copy of Different Class onto my cassette inlay – black fineliner, having to decide what would become Side A and Side B… What an album.

ShareMyPlaylists – John Peel Festive Fifty – 1994
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Carry Me Home


Yes, so this here track made me cry, as did Mariah Carey’s Fantasy, Take That singing Everything Changes and preeety much every 1990’s track I chose to listen to this evening. The tears came from nowhere and I was muchly perplexed as to just why I was blubbing so; I need a hot shower and lots of hugs from Patrick.

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Coldcut & Lisa Stansfield – People Hold On (Freemasons Mix)

Coldcut & Lisa Stansfield
People Hold On
(Freemasons Mix)

Lancashire lass vs. Canadian dead rodent = brilliance

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Tomatoes in the desert

How to grow tomatoes and oranges in the desert without using any fresh water:

Seawater Greenhouse
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MeFi. A portable modem that enables you to carry around your own wireless network. INTERESTING.

NYT – Your Own Hot Spot, and Cheap
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Back to having to actually work for a living. BOO.

At least i’ve two days free of kiddies, but as a penance I must suffer through two days of “Continuing Professional Development” baloney. CPD would actually be of use to me if it was subject-specific, however there’s rarely any money available for that, is there…?
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LaliloucheLalilouche Ophelia Black Silk Playsuit


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