Monthly Archives: June 2010
After The Powers That Be piled on even more work upon us minions – an email sent out at 5pm (niiiice) – and much arg arg arg-ing when I received said email I have decided that I am going to have a glass of wine and r-e-l-a-x for a while…
…whilst multitasking on a PowerPoint of course…
I’ve been thinking about MW#1 rather a lot of late, the good and the bad things, things I that I miss and things that I most *definitely* do not.
His birthday is still down this month on the calendar hanging next to my bed, and so I remember back to this time last year and the obscenely expensive outing to Hawksmoor for MW#1’s thirtieth birthday.
Re-reading my post i’m reminded that it was a night of mixed emotions. Over the last few months I feel i’ve made a lot of progress with regards recovering from the MW#1 debacle, but over the last few days I feel like I am going backwards a bit.
Thinking about him more, missing aspects of him, wishing he would verb my noun right now. A bit disappointing if i’m going to be honest. Disappointed is how I feel generally with regards this whole finding someone to love malarky… at the moment I just don’t think it’s going to happen. Sure, there are many wonderful men out there but i’m beginning to think that the good ones have already been “got” and i’m shit out of luck.
I’m happier and more content with myself than I have been in years, but every so often I pass a weekend feeling like it’s never going to happen or I spend time feeling lonely and wishing for what isn’t to be. I understand that to be happy all of the time is to be insane but still…
The owner of the giant England flag house speaks up…
Reading Post Keep fingers and homes crossed for England…
What a delightful week or so I am facing.
By Monday: 50 Year 9 reports due. Approx. 3000 words.
Tuesday: Sixth Form induction day & after school Wales trip evening for which I need to finish a film for
Wednesday: Year 13 Leavers ball 7pm-1am
Thursday: After school Continuing Professional Development
Saturday: Pre-wedding dinner in Lahndahn tahn for le Grande Homme Brum and La Rousse’s nuptials (overnight)
Monday: 60 Year 7 reports due in. Approx. 5000 words.
Also, i’m supposed to do some teaching. Stressed… :(
As seen in a more upmarket neighbourhood…
Some schools actually closed early for the day; at mine we gave the kids the option of watching it on the big screen from 3pm onwards.
It was like a lock in without any booze.
There was EXTRA loud screaming and shrieking when the final whistle blew…
Section of “I Wish Your Wish” by Rivane Neuenschwander – Frieze – artnet
NYTimes A Brazilian Makes Playful but Serious Art
“In Ms. Neuenschwander’s conceptual-art variation, which will be displayed at the rear of the New Museum’s lobby, colorful silk ribbons have each been stamped with one of 60 wishes left by previous viewers of the piece. The show’s visitors can take a ribbon from one of 10,296 small holes in the wall in exchange for scribbling a new wish on a slip of paper and inserting it into the hole.”Cool stuff. At the moment Neuenschwander is tearing up the gallery in the hunt for listening devices planted by security consultants a la The Conversation. Also cool.
Superb article at the NYT covering a few points as to why I dislike Lady Gaga, feminism and what can be classed as “female empowerment”:
Lady Power by Nancy Bauer
A quite frankly brilliant comment on the article is as follows: (apologies for length, but I think it’s worth it)
“As a Transgender man I have one recommendation to every woman who believes she is somehow “empowering” herself by getting on her knees to service a man: Go live as a man for one week. See how radically different it feels to really be respected and empowered in this society.
I lived as a woman for 50 years, and was a real feminist. Then I transitioned to living as a man, and I was shocked at how different it felt on an every day basis, to be accorded the regard and deference that men are automatically given as their due in this world.
The first thing I noticed was how people moved out of my way when I walked down the street. That became my metaphor for how much easier it became to move through my world. Then it became stunningly clear that people no longer interrupted me when I spoke – they listened with a new interest and regard, and started taking my ideas seriously for the first time in my life (and I have an IQ of 160, so I was never a slouch in the idea department). I found that I no longer had to earn and re-earn respect in every situation in my life, I was given authority and power to move decisions and change the course of events, automatically, and without having to prove myself again and again. Society seemed to constantly feed me positive energy and esteem. That powerful current of high regard bolstered me, fed me confidence and self satisfaction in a way I had never before experienced as a woman.
Gone were all the slights, interferences, being ignored, and challenges that seemed, by comparison, to diminish and drain my energy as a woman, not support it. Women get elbowed out of power all the time, and it becomes “normal” to be less than.
Power feels like having authority, having rights, being listened to, and treated with true respect. It doesn’t feel like servicing a demanding man in return for a moment of attention and acceptance. The difference is unmistakable. Until you feel it in your guts, in your stance in the world, and see it in the eyes of those who are looking up to you, you won’t know what real power feels like. Women are treated like chattel for the most part.
A moment of fleeting sexual attractiveness in a young woman like Lady Gaga, who is catering to her own sexual objectification, is a pathetic facsimile of power, a sheer self delusion that she will be granted a moment of attention before being discarded for the novelty of the next young sexual object. Look that bit of wishful thinking right in the eye, and see it for what it really is. No man respects you for it, he only uses you. When you no longer look cute and hot, where will you be? Some other new hot, cute girl will be on her knees in front of him, taking your place.
Real power is what you develop on the inside; it’s character, inner strength, tenacity, and courage. Confusing getting sexual attention with getting power is a flimsy fantasy that shatters at the slightest sideways glance. Confusing a childish delusion with feminism is dangerous thin ice.”
From The 11 Best Online Merit Badges:
by Brooklyn Badges
I can certainly say i’ve earned this one…
|My City Of Ruins (album version)||My City Of Ruins (version I shed a tear to)|
I slept fitfully last night, seemingly awake at some point over every single hour, so at quarter to midnight I am seriously on the tired side. The typing is alll over the place. Anyways, why am I up typing, apart from fulfilling a need to overshare and ego-stroke? Oh, that’s right, it would be working on the departmental website that I don’t get paid any extra money for… Woo.
nopoke is SEVEN!
Blimey is about all i’ve to say about that…
…who’d have thought it would last so long…
Happy Birthday by Corey Seeman [cc]
If I had a spare £2740, had found someone of suitable quality who loved and cared for me and was responsible and was marrying them…
Behold: Lanvin’s Tiered Silk Gazar dress
So that battling with Senior Management ended with a FAIL. Ended before it had begun, really. I’ve been advised not to write the letter setting out my frustrations and concerns as it won’t apparently make any difference to things. Felt rather glum about the situation all day…UGH.
Where is Titus Pullo when you need him…? Although I think even he would say “Pick your battles…”
Much internet discussion trawled, much discussion with colleagues and a nice chat with a union rep and I am cautiously saddling up to ride into battle with the Senior Management Team.
I’m not sure what good it will do me but goddamned it, at the very least i’ve got to let them know that if i’m going to be fucked over i’m not going to be walked over, so to speak. Here is an image of my two favourite Romans to illustrate my feelings.
JUNO’s CUNT and all that.
Evidence No. 10
From the Marvelli Gallery press release:
“Angela Strassheim conceptualized her most recent series of images after learning of a violent crime that involved a student at the Minneapolis College of Art and Design, where she was teaching at the time. Strassheim developed the project utilizing a forensic technique commonly reserved for crime scene investigation, which she learned while working on the field for the Miami Forensic Imaging Bureau. In this particular body of work, Strassheim created her pictures through the application of a specific chemical spray called “Blue Star” to the walls of rooms where violent, aggressive acts were committed.”
“Long after the struggles ended in these spaces, despite the cleaning, repainting and subsequent re-habitation of the rooms, the “Blue Star” solution is capable of activating the physical memory of blood through its contact with remaining proteins on the walls. Long exposures- from ten minutes to one hour- with minimal ambient night light pouring in from the crevices of windows and doors, capture the physical presence of blood as a lurid glow: a constellation of stars embedded in the walls.”
Song and theme for the weekend…
Have a good one…
Yes, I really did just get up at 8.45am so that I would be able to get a ticket for TNA at Wembley in January.
Result- One rather happy monky in row two. Row two baby!
I am pleased, and am now going back to bed, happy, to ponder the intricacies of men in lycra…
It’s been a while. Apologies. Much has happened and not-so-much. A summary…
My bruises from my trip to Wales with the kiddies are all gone, however i’ve managed to gain a corker of a bruise courtesy of my legs being far too long to fit into the cockpit of a bumper car and so alas my poor knee is sporting a shiner the size of a tennis ball. Woo.
I’ve seen my Mum, Caversham Princess, Bobby Convey, Leia Ewok Village, Flambé and McCy in a variety of settings and have eaten, drank, bowled and karaoke’d the night away on many occasions. Not at the same time, obviously.
I’m on the last day of the last half term of this academic year and I am looking forward to the warm weather tomorrow. Me and Ms. Ava Gardner are going to the park methinks accompanied by Mr. Hawaiian Tropic. What a trio we’ll make.
An update on that pesky work situation i’ve encountered of late: I’m going to have to leave if I want to make progress. Simple as that. My colleague got the Head of Department job thank fuck and in the post-interview debrief she was told by Senior Management that if I didn’t want to “play ball” and be second in department and run Photography without additional pay then they’d make me part time and draft in an Newly Qualified Teacher to run the course. Nice, huh?
From a fair bit of internet trawling I think that what they’re wanting to do is illegal. What do I do about it when Senior Managment don’t value me and have made that threat? Get seriously pissed off is one answer and consult my union. I’m still waiting on their reply and if I don’t get one by the middle of this week I am giving them a call. I would at least like to know for sure that they’re fucking me over so I can feel all superior like before working for free.
The whole situation is pretty depressing- bang goes my hope of getting out of my en-suite bedsit for another couple of years at least. Bang goes recognition of what I do. How am I valued? Do you know how you could show me the ways… let me count the ways I am valued as I count the cold hard cash that I should be receiving.
It’s approaching 1am and i’m feeling all ranty now. Arrrgh. Anyway…
I’ve been looking at how they’re put together so-to-speak much more closely of late. Wherever they are my eye roves, looking at their particulars- height, body, appearance. I’ve signed up for a dating site as I figure i’m not going to find anyone by sitting around; i’ve been signed up for a couple of weeks so far and i’m not exactly being overwhelmed- quelle suprise.
To be honest, i’m not exactly overwhelmed by the blokes on there- Look at the women and they are generally lovely looking humans whereas the men, well just not-so-much. It’s not about looks – my love of MW#1 testifies to this – but i’d at least like a little something to go on. I figure nothing will come of me being on there but I should at least give it a try for a few months.
Other than staring at real life men i’ve been watching lots of Rome and have been wallowing in the gloriousness of Ray Stevenson as Titus Pullo and James Purefoy as Marc Antony. Oh fuck me they are scrumptious…