Monthly Archives: March 2009

Last Night

Tonight is my last night of freedom for quite a while and I am spending it very quietly. I have finished my course of steroids, removed the scarlet polish from my toenails, looked out the required pair of one-hundred percent cotton undies and unpacked the charger for my DS.

I am a little worried about my class of Year 11’s who have the first five hours of their GCSE exam next week but I have tried to prepare them as best I can and have given them all my email address so I can offer them support if required. Colleagues will take my lessons and I have left a nice juicy file full of info for each and every class.

I feel slightly apprehensive about tomorrow and the recovery period to come, but given my past experiences I am feeling fairly hopeful that all will go well. I’ve got a big book of art borrowed from school and a giant bag of food in the communal freezer; with the internet providing such quality faire such as the epic Punisher: War Zone (Hello Genius) and Patrick to hug in my nest I am sure I will be both entertained and comfortable.

Time in the actual ward passes super slowly, especially when you can only read so many crap magazines and attempt to get some rest so many times before giving up – the ward is always noisy even outside visiting hours of 2pm-8pm. I do remember that when I get used to nurses popping their heads in to check i’m still alive I sleep very soundly indeed, usually waking up feeling very aggrieved that some fool is making me wake up at 7.30am. I’ve just had an operation don’t you know :)

One of my favourite things to do to pass a little time is wander about the place in my too-tight anti-thromblitic socks and go buy stuff in the shop on the lower floor. I find it amusing that I am shopping dressed in my gown and wearing ID wristbands with a line in the back of my hand. Actually, that is the thing that hurts the most- That damned needle that hurts like a motherfucker when I move my hand the wrong way. Ugh. So if that’s the worst to come I think i’ll be A-Okay.

It’s not like i’ve ever had to spend any sort of extended period of time in hospital, so I tend to treat my occasional trips as a bit of healthcare tourism; I enjoy the experience of the anaesthetic (though not the puking) and the serving of tea and toast as a nutritional food group. I am very lucky not to have had any experiences either personally or family/friend-wise that have led me to change my outlook, although I know that given time this will undoubtedly change.

I will regale Teh Internets with how things went in a couple of days or so, and who knows, I might have some excellently gross tales to tell (or photos).

Catch you on the flip side…
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Still Alive

So yes, I made it into the new place, got all my deposit back from the old place without having to destroy the landlord, said goodbye to my housemate of over two years and moved into a sea of boxes.

The tide has been gradually receding thanks to a cherry-popping trip to Ikea with Leia Ewok Village (her first time at nearly thirty years of age) were I picked up a beside table, bookcase, shelving and the assorted detritus you always have to buy on a trip to the big blue and yellow box. MW#1 built my bookcase for me over the course of one and a half hours; this is the same time it took me to build a very small bedside table.

I thought it would be easy what with my experience with Lego and all but no. The instructions were confusing and not clear enough so it took me a lot longer than i expected. MW#1 on the other hand whipped through the raising of the bookcase; he proved himself very useful in helping me out and bringing me pie, mash and Jamaican wine :)

I spent vast amounts of money at Ikea, I spent vast amounts of money at The National Dining Rooms having a most delicious lunch avec Ma Mere – Braised Pigs Cheeks, Salt Cod Fritters and Spinach followed by Peppered Guinea fowl, Stuffed Cabbage and Salsify finished off with Warm Treacle Tart and ice cream. YUM. The starter was particularly fab and I had an as per usual excellent time with my Mum, bitching about the world, discussing cousins, family, life. Muy excellentay.

We went to see the Steven Jones Hat exhibition at the V&A (too busy, too many women chatting) and saw some fabulous headgear – Hello Darth Vader’s helmet and Gareth Pugh’s Cube; we discovered the stunning tearooms, which somehow we’d managed to miss over the last couple of years- gloriously glazed with Victorian stained glass, moulded tiles and giant puffball chandeliers. Awesomeness.

Roni Horn Roni HornOpposite of White, v. 2 (Large)

I spent more money eating at Tate Modern with Bobby Convey where again we bitched, discussed life, the future, hopes and fears before tipsily wandering around the minimalist art of the Roni Horn exhibition and pondering aloud which of her works would make the best coffee table. Hee.

I think the one shown here – The Opposite of White – was probably the winner on that home furnishing front, but one that was like an enormous block of red jelly was a close runner up.

I went on a trip to a farm with my form and spent time staring at various ewes’ arses in the hope that I would see a little nose poking out (it is lambing time) to no avail. My form were very disappointed, but I enjoyed the day out in such good weather getting to see the animals. Good times.

I am counting the days til my operation (Friday) and am snarfing down steroids to try and shrink things down so as to lessen the chance of excessive bleeding. I am tired and need to do more unpacking and my attempts at drilling holes in the wall to put things up are freaking me the fuck out. No more hammer action for me, thanks.

Oh and Battlestar Galactica ended. It was not the bestest of endings but I am still a little sad to be without it.

My place is quiet and more than a little weird but I feel happy to be here in my own little bit of space; there are just a few things that need to be sorted and I will be uber happy to nest here for quite a while. Sigh.
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Palatine uvula woes

The exhaustion continues apace…

It’s my last week in my current place and over the rest of the week as well as go on courses and do a parents evening I have to slowly pack my stuff up. Sunday is the last day and i’ve barely scratched the surface with regards packing.

I’m not feeling particularly fine and dandy at the moment; all the stuff to pack seems overwhelming and i’m not feeling totally well. I’ve got a sinus infection and I feel very washed out and dehydrated- I’m waking up during the night as my mouth dries to the point of soreness as I can’t breathe out of my nose. My lips are very dry and in the morning my teeth are stained brown from the blood that has seeped from cracks in my lips and from my dried out and traumatised gums. Gooood times… :/

My uvula dries out during the night and so when I drag myself down to the bathroom I take a took at it in the mirror and see how it is a deep shade of red and hangs limply in my throat; it brushes the back of my tongue and makes me feel queasy, taking a fair few hours for it to rehydrate itself. Until it does so it’s sort of like a dead thing in my mouth. I feel hot (not in that way) and tired and put upon, even though i’ve no reports to do or assessments etcetera so work is relatively light. Foul-tasting ooze crawls down my throat and makes me gag… I really need to be operated on. Ugh.

So in theory there should be little interruption in the flow of things; there’s a temporary internet connection in the new flat and I am off to raid Ikea next week to get bits and pieces for storage. There’s no justification in renting a van for the purpose of transporting things as it would be used for one journey only, but I am a little bummed at the prospect of multiple car journeys. The new flat is not too far away and has ample parking but its the effort that i just can’t be doing with.

Sigh… I must go and pack at least one box this evening.
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Queens and Avon


Revisiting a part of my late-blooming youth- Queens of the Stone Age and their track Avon.

From their first, self-titled album it has always been a track that does things to me. It makes me feel fierce and threatening to all of mankind, like I could dominate any man who crossed my path. It makes me stretch and feel strong as I listen to it, and I get to thinking about the kinds of naughtyness I would do with Avon as the soundtrack.

I imagine myself clothed in short denim shorts that have been around the block one too many times, a faded t-shirt that I have turned into a vest and heavy boots that have lots of straps and buckles. In my head I have less of an overhang, my hair is wildly red and I have more flowers on my shoulder. I also have a bit of a tan. I have confidence that strays into attitude, and the poor fellow i’m standing over in the dim light of the dive bar doesn’t know what to do with himself.

I know that when he kisses me my warm skin will smell and taste of sunscreen and sweat, finished off with flecks of dust and sand from the desert i’ve been out in that afternoon. I’ll trail my fingers through the hair on the back of his head as I press into him and he’ll get that look in his eye like he wants to take me there and then. I sit on his lap. I drink my drink very slowly. He explores the topological features of my neck and shoulders. I feel like I might just melt away into nothingness right there and then. I finish my drink, he holds my hand as we make our way through the crowded bar.

Confidence verging on attitude? I wish. The reality: I would try hard to look my best, he probably won’t notice, i’ll be nervous on meeting him and he will not be very interested in me, or at least be interested in everyone else but me. I’ll spend the evening trying not to cry as i’m slowly crushed, and will try my best to be extra happy as his disinterest helps me die inside.
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Nesting Flew the Coop
Ray Tibbitts [cc]

Ugh, i’m so tired…

I have not made much headway through the sixty reports I have to write by Monday, getting around fifteen or so finished throughout the week; this is due to a general laziness, head, sinus and period-related pains and little uninterrupted time for me to work at work so to speak.

I have managed barely any packing of things and I have no idea whether or not when I turn up to sign the contract on Monday I will actually have somewhere to live for the next six months as the agent is lackadaisical with regards communication. I also have two parents evenings over the next two weeks and my lower back is unpleasantly sore. JOY.

I require ice cream, hugs, hibernation and holidays… At least my soon-to-be-former corner shop sells Ben and Jerrys… I must remember to drag my carcass by some time…
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Skull Charm One

I made this I made this I made this :)

Yes, he is slightly on the wonky side, but I feel that only adds to the charm- I’d like them to be individual. I cut the skull shape out of silver sheet then drilled holes that I enlarged with a saw to get some shape into them, then I filed and polished the surface before bending some wire and soldering it onto the top.

It took me ages to make this little charm – it’s just under a centimetre in size – but hopefully now i’ve done one any following will be much easier for me to do. I’d like to make loads of them for a bracelet, but I think I need to try and go a little smaller next, to cut down on weight. Eeek.

I am so pleased with my handiwork… he needs more of a polish I think but I am proud I have managed to complete what I set out to make, and i’ve done a good job too. Huzzah!
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