I heard it on a tv trailer and searched and found… Justice vs. Simian… and this is why I am dancing furiously alone in my room wearing a vest rolled into a bikini top, shorts and the highest pair of heels I own. I have checked the door is indeed locked.

On loop, loud with headphones, robot dancing, gesturing, twisting, mash potato-ing, arse-shaking, strutting… imagining being in a hot, dark club dancing like a mentalist with eyes closed and arms flailing. God help anyone that strays into my path… force of destruction that I am.

I close my eyes and it’s hot, dark, loud and sweaty… I’m in the middle of the crowded dancefloor wearing a tight, short skirt accessorised with half an arm of tattoos with eyes narrowed in a drunken haze. I proceed to very agressively robot dance into my Sweetie… genius.

Hey, I’m a creative type with an really good imagination and no-one to provide distraction. Give me a break.

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