d o o m e d

So I went to see Doom… It may come as a suprise, but I was actually disappointed. I didn’t expect a masterpiece on the level of say Predator, it was just not quite bad enough to be really good.

From the opening scene of someone’s arm being chopped off courtesy of some closing security doors I thought fabulous- This is going to be great. Unfortunately I spent quite a proportion of the rest of the film laughing at the scenery-chewing dialogue spouted by Karl Urban.

The problem with Karl is that he is a very intense actor, seemingly giving his all to produce very focused performances (he is called Karl-Heinz after all). This is a not usually a problem in the films I’ve seen him in (LotR and The Bourne Supremacy) but when he’s trying to be intense and sincere whilst being shouty about Demons and trying to hold an american accent it maketh me laugh in what the filmakers could construe as an inappropriate manner.

Don’t get me wrong, he looked good (along with the Rock) and he did the action thing well, but I just felt sorry to see him in such a film, acting for his life, battling against terrible dialogue.

On the subject of eye candy, Karl was pretty hot, especially when he was all dirty. Baby, he was just crying out to be stripped down and cleaned up with a damp cloth and a bowl of sudsy warm water. I agree, there was too much detail in that sentence… but I’m creative with a good i-m-a-g-i-n-a-t-i-o-n.

Okay, so i’m free from skool and in dire need of a back rub at the mo so i’m going to go off on one on this…

EDIT: For your sanity (if not mine) I have removed the story I wrote about Reaper. It was just too much.

2 Responses to d o o m e d

  1. Nitram says:

    I was most disapointed that The Rock didn’t turn into this thing at the end of the film
    Its called the Sabaoth, is what the Sarge character in Doom 3 turns into, and is armed with a BFG.

  2. monky says:

    The problem is that he would look too much like The Scorpion King. That was done during the bad old days when The Rock was not good at the acting (i remember laughing loudly when he was wandering over the dunes in The Mummy Returns).
    However, i have been led to believe that his performance in The Scorpion King itself is not too bad.
    I think they’re supposed to be doing a sequel to Doom, but without The Rock or Karl. It’s so gonna suck. Maybe it will be so bad it’s good, but to be honest, what’s the point in going to see it if there’s no eye candies on display.