Monthly Archives: June 2005

NYC Upcoming


It’s interesting how when I walk around town with my shoulder exposed the first thing people do is look at my tat. It’s alright to look, but honestly people, staring? They stare and i see the cogs in their heads turning. It’s not polite.

A day spent feeling delightfully human wandering about town under a blue sky and hot sun. Treasure Island, Out by Natsuo Kirino and John Legend purchased. And 7 days around New York City in September.

Yarr.
Comments Off on NYC Upcoming

Batsy brilliance


Am spending a glorious June day inside with the curtains closed revisiting Batman. Saw Begins last night and boy was i geeking out after the lights came up. Lordy. It was really very good. After viewing the trailer i was concerned it was going to be nowt but explosions and Batmobile chases but thankfully my fears were unfounded. I know it’s a terribly overused word but yes, it was dark, pleasingly so, but it was funny too. I enjoy Batman, Returns and Forever (best forget about the other one) and although coming from a different perspective this is an excellent addition. This Batman was scary- nice voice Bale- in a way that none of the previous cowl wearers managed to conjure up. The ending is the standard race-against-time thing, but i never felt like i was sitting through a cliche even though the entire storyline is quite run-of-the-mill. I enjoyed Begins more than Sin City, and I feel slightly guilty about that. Sorry Hartigan, Batsy is closer to my heart.

One of many great scenes- Batman standing in the gloom with his pale skin illuminated by the Tazer fizzing in his chest. Pretty. And on that subject- Bale once again puts in a fine, fine performance. American Psycho is one of my favourite films but to be honest I haven’t seen him in anything else as his adult self. One of those actors you want to see more of. And i should make an effort on that front. I’ve seen Momento but not Insomnia- the latter I think is one of those films that has gained more praise as it ages but was one of those films (like so many) that i meant to watch when it came out but never got round to it. Gah and Bale looked teh hawt for quite a proportion of the film. Cheekbones, buffness. Balehead status beckons.

I’m a bit confused about the line “I won’t kill you, but i won’t save you” line. I always thought preservation of life was paramount with killing by action or inaction unacceptable unless absoloutely unavoidable. A day of research hasn’t thrown much light upon the subject. Grrr.

Due to her teen soap involvement i feel i should dislike Katie Holmes but goddammit there was nothing in her performance to latch onto for hate purposes. Oh wait, she needs to get some pasties. It was clearly quite cold on set. Our Gary was quietly excellent as Gordon. No overacting crayzeeness hoorah. He and Bale have an ability to slip into their characters so convincingly- Amongst the best around. Michael Caine was refreshingly different as Mr Pennyworth with a nice combo of care and comedy. Suprisingly funny. Cillian Murphy was all nice specs and pouting in a non-offensive way. Not much screentime to impress. His performance in 28 Days Later is good but I think i need to see more of him to judge.

Satan from Holby City popped up as a Maitre d’. Hah. Holby. Loving it.

Yes the gadgets were good and the wheels were cool. I liked the moving side shots of The Tumbler being put through it’s paces in the research labs and the line about not falling on your head because there’s a problem with the graphite in the cowl. This film was all about the details and i like the small interesting things in life. Morgan Freeman as per usual brought the depth and integrity even in such a small role. That man really should be the American President. And it was nice to see Rutger Hauer escaping from TVM hell proving that he can still act; He’s usually wasted like Malcolm McDowell. Can someone please ban them from appearing in any more shite? Thanks.

Gotham was an excellent combo of grimy despair and young professional highlife. The Narrows were very Blade Runner- I liked the rain and wires draping everywhere. Arkham Asylum was not featured as much as i expected but I imagine it’s going to appear more in the next installment. It looked very good.

Especially the brick detailing. Nice and skanky. Good job McCy

Nice bruising job too.

On a completely different note, Damo has gone and broken my heart. The one thing i could rely on in my life is that Damian Lewis would be gloriously manwhoring his way through the population of this world. Alas, a secret galpal has been unearthed. Much happiness to them both, but hurry up and get back on the whoring scene Damo. The ladies of the sadly defunct Fametracker Forum would demand it.
Comments Off on Batsy brilliance

The Pirate Code of Black Bart Roberts


The Pirate Code of Black Bart Roberts


1. Every man shall have an equal vote in affairs of moment. He shall have an equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized…

2. Every man shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of prizes. But if they defraud the company to the value of even one dollar, they shall be marooned. If any man rob another he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships.

3. None shall game for money either with dice or cards.

4. The lights and candles shall be put out at eight at night, and if any of the crew desire to drink after that hour they shall sit upon the open deck without lights.

5. Each man shall keep his piece, cutlass and pistols at all times clean and ready for action.

6. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man shall be found seducing any of the latter sex and carrying her to sea in disguise he shall suffer death.

7. He that shall desert the ship or his quarters in time of battle shall be punished by death or marooning.

8. None shall strike another on board the ship, but every man’s quarrel shall be ended on shore by sword or pistol…

9. No man shall talk of breaking up their way of living till each has a share of 1,000. Every man who shall become a cripple or lose a limb in the service shall have 800 pieces of eight from the common stock and for lesser hurts proportionately.

10. The captain and quartermaster shall each receive two shares of a prize, the master gunner and boatswain, one and one half shares, all other officers one and one quarter, and private gentlemen of fortune one share each.

11. The musicians shall have rest on the Sabbath Day…

Courtesy Pirate Soul

Reasonable.
Comments Off on The Pirate Code of Black Bart Roberts

Small Monky


Snapshot of the Monky as a young Monky….

One week at Primary school we baked our own bread, churned our own butter and grew our own sandwich filling- cress. Whilst walking home with a classmate we had an earnest discussion of our impending death that would occur when the cress we had consumed continued to grow through our stomachs.

Me and my classmates were warned that the walls surrounding our playground were going to be sprayed with herbicide to get rid of the moss growing there. We were warned not to touch the walls and especially not to put our fingers in our mouths. Whilst out at playtime (piloting my green Gobot Harrier jump jet) i touched one of the walls and licked my finger. I told some classmates. “Ummm” they said. I was certain I would die.

I owned a Gobot.

I created a (short-lived) craze for origami snakes. Usually cobras.

I convinced friends that air was flavoursome.

I said my toy Panda came from China.

I was too scared to go into the toilets at my father’s place of work so I urinated in the car. And then pretended it was an accident.

I deliberately cut my index finger when I had been considered trustworthy enough to be given metal scissors. They had rounded ends.

After falling over in the playground i was taken to get a plaster on my knee. I saw a sack of white stuff outside the medical room. When i got home later that afternoon i told my parents that this was a big sack full of powdered milk so it was okay to drink the classroom milk that we were given every day. The powdered milk had of course not been exposed to radiation from Chernobyl. My parents did not believe me so the milk embargo continued. I wanted to drink milk at break time.

I used Silly Putty to add anatomical extras to my Barbie dolls which would then get it on together.

I used to pull the wings of Daddy-Long-Legs and eat aphids.

I broke my watch whilst trying to change the time and then pretended I had lost it rather than tell my father what i had done. After carrying it around for months i threw it away whilst on a camping trip.
Comments Off on Small Monky

Genitically programmed


From yesterday’s Guardian: Female orgasm all in the genes
New Scientist: Genes blamed for fickle female orgasm

“Women who fail to orgasm during sex may be genetically programmed to weed out unreliable men who are a flop between the sheets, according to new research.”

Smirk.
Comments Off on Genitically programmed

fellate/intoxicate


pinch/punch

I actually had to look up “get blown” today when lap dancing to Snoop for the manifest punters in my bedroom. Yeah, I know the phrase “to get blown” -got that- but get blown was a little too vague for me. I require clarification on the fellate/intoxicate front.

Can I get more thrills…?
Comments Off on fellate/intoxicate