From my point of view the interview appeared to go quite badly. I had to defend myself for the entire 45 minutes with a portfolio that was no backup to any of my points I tried to make. Consequently I could not make any points.

They were playing the tried and tested good cop/bad cop routine and at times I struggled to explain myself. Every question was an attack, with everything insinuating failure or deficiency. “Why haven’t you done any artwork recently? And saying you don’t have the time is just a little wet don’t you think?” This is before I had even opened my mouth to reply. I was trying very hard not to interrrupt as per my MO and was definitely not going to use that excuse. Rar.

Then I was told I couldn’t draw or create as was patently obvious from my portfolio and that I was “weird.” I was asked whether I would and could conform in a school environment (er, yes) and what I felt I could improve on. Printmaking and ceramics were immediately offered by myself as I haven’t had very much experience either on my degree or on foundation. “Oh, that’s rather a lot…” Sorry, Sir, give me a week at each and I’m damn sure I can do whatever a school child can throw at me. Yeah, clay. Isn’t the entire point of the course to learn? Yeah, I bit my tongue.

“It’s not necessarily a bad thing or a good thing, but I was wondering why you have stayed so local? At my age I was clamouring to escape my home city… Are you not very parochial?”

Erm, if only I could remember what the hell that meant. “Parochial? In what context?” “You know, isolated from the world, cut off…?”

Riiight. So, it’s not a bad thing. But of course.

“Well it’s a combination of not having the need or desire to move and lacking the financial support to do so. Of course at times I would like to escape but I’ve never found the idea of backpacking around Australia picking grapes very enticing- To be honest I don’t think that would add very much to my life. I take pleasure in exploring my environment, collecting information and analysing it. I wouldn’t call myself isolated in any sense at all.”

You Fucks.

So after all of this interrogation and an essay to prove my literacy they offered me a place. Official in two weeks. Lah.

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