Monthly Archives: February 2005
I’ve worked out why I got so upset about uncovering things I had an idea about but no proof. It’s purely because I felt extra stupid and dirty. Like, duh. Sailing happily along now. Hoorah.
Good part of French- The language seems to contain a delectable combination of sex and danger.
Danger of ohhh, rubbing…
And limbs being removed. Blue Jam style.
Back from a wonderful few days in Paris. The invasion went well, with a pincer movement covering the city very efficiently. The trip was so good that I would seriously consider crossing the language barrier to stay long(er)-term in Gaye Paree. Sigh. Beautiful architecture and art, cheap housing, fantastic food and copius servings of cinematic action.
Saw Citizen Kane on the big screen in a small, quiet theatre that showed nothing but old American movies. I could stretch out the whole way in big, cushioned seats. And i usually have trouble with my legs. So many films available to see. Fantastique.
Hunter S Thompson. Gloriously NSFW and a great loss to all righteous people of the world.
Darn it. I try to move on from past errors, stay independent (and thus happy) but I get ambushed from out of nowhere by more truths (lies) uncovered. I feel hurt by things I thought I had managed to work through. Seems like all I may have been doing is pushing certain thoughts and feelings to one side and pretending everything was all fixed. Current events didn’t seem to bother me, behaviours, comments etc, but when something comes up out of the past it seems somehow to be more difficult to deal with.
After years of lies what is one more on the pile? The feeling of pain, that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach- I’m so familiar with it, so why am I not immune to it? You can put up with chronic physical pain- the body copes, the mind adapts, but the cliche of heartache has its own special qualities.
Valentines Day. Many Happy Returns etc.
Feeling less embittered this year. Less of the sadness resulting from 24/24 no shows from paramours on the card front. Admittedly I do feel a little sad at having no-one to give flowers to or do stupid fun stuff with. Much to give but no outlet. Grrr.
Star Wars characters have been hitting the booze and steroids (with some opting for surgery):
Bad ‘lil Monky love: I had approximately two shop-bought Star Wars figures with the rest sourced from car boot sales or modelling fairs. I had to have something to look at whilst the males trawled the planes and trains you see. I used to fly my Speeder Bike into my wardrobe door before making it go BOOM! by pressing the cargopack, showering the carpet (and watching Ewok) with all three pieces. Fun. Actually, I loved looking at both the SW stuff and the model farm bits and pieces. I went through a phase of being very interested in farming and built my own farm set with tractors, balers etc and lots of animals which I would (attempt to) customise with my trusty Humbrol acrylic paints. Sky Blue dappled with grey is not a natural colour for a Hanover but it looked quite good. I have my SW things wrapped in kitchen towel in a Bushmills tin. Probably near my Lego stash.
Techno soundtrack greatness Lego Junkbot
Nice deshevelled Zoo Animals
Strangely attractive Minature Gardens 1, 2
Whilst watching the boob tube last night I felt a sharp, mobile splinter-like pain on the skin next to my big toe. Looking down towards the source of irritation I spied a small black thing wiggling about. Ow. Peering at said creature and maiming it into submission I placed it’s mangled, still twitching corpse upon my table. The light revealed that an ant was trying to eat me.
Why are there ants trying to open my skin like tin openers? It is February.