The slow disintegration of a relationship is a painful thing to watch, especially when you’re not just standing on the sidelines. The intimacy and affection seems to have gone and I feel like I don’t know the subject as well any more. I get the impression that it’s getting to be a chore to come see me and if I try and talk to them about a problem they get pissed off. It’s kinda sad when so much time, effort, money and above all heart has been invested in someone for nought.
I can’t win- I’m as usual the loser. Four years I can’t have back that are going to affect me for a long time to come. I think through all my actions and I don’t think i’ve done anything wrong, but still I have to ask myself what’s wrong with me, what’s so repellent? Defective in some way I cannot see, and I am my harshest critic. Any ideas? Apart from “stop whining you indulgent bitch”- I know this already.
Changing the topic sharpish, I just saw Jonathan Davis Leash Freaking at Download. My God, the man looks different. Apparently he has to use oxygen to get through the gigs.
aEuropean is a nice little blog on identity and being European. It’s in the process of coming together but it looks like there’ll be some well thought-out entries. In the interests of full disclosure, I should say I know the author, and that’s why I can safely predict interesting things- interesting person.