Monthly Archives: April 2004

OTOFTC lies

OTOFTC is a hoax. Shame…
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Patriotic Pimping

Operation Take One For The Country is a civilian unit recently formed in the US. It’s mission is: “To discretely provide US troops shipping out overseas with the most sensually pleasing departure possible.” AKA Patriotic Pimping. I hope all are servicing safely. Most members seem to be focusing on providing care to straight men- What about the femmes out there, queer or vanilla? Step up ladies and gents. I think the idea is a good one but then you wouldn’t catch me going down on a squaddie before he jets off. The number of kills I could paint up on the side of my car would be zero. Maybe some attempted runs but no target hit. This social phenomenon, if it is that, is nothing new apparently. Boing Boing has a piece “Social history of OTOFTC” discussing past sexual behaviour during military action.

“Fellatio Friday” is something much easier to stomach, so to speak. I am a cocksucker and proud of it. It must be related to the love of sucking my thumb. Orally fixated etc etc. I enjoy making my victim squirm. That must be related to my “I am powerless in my life so I enjoy getting the upper hand for once” side. Of course, I am only happy being evil to one person. I project minx but what I actually am is Monky, fragile and eager to love. Giving lots and receiving little. Not that I always give to receive, I give because I like to. It would just be nice one of these days to have a little affection cast in my direction.

On a completely unrelated note; Spongebob Squarepants: Satan’s Ploy For Your Child’s Soul

Another sequel to whacking, slapping and chucking penguins: Yetisports. I’ve become so used to seeing it on numerous personal sites that the commercialisation of it seems somehow obscene.

More games fantasticness: The sequel to Crimson Room is out: Viridian Room. I think the server is having difficulties coping at the moment as it was released only yesterday so I haven’t been able to join in the exasperation. Actually, Crimson Room is nothing compared to the mental torture of Mystery Of Time And Space AKA MOTAS. This game is a classic. Walkthoughs are located here. Funky music, graphics and Lego. What more could you want? Junkbot

Samarost is beautifully designed and is a surreal trip into a mixture of live action and computer hallucination. One of my favourites, if a little short for my liking. I suppose that means it’s done it’s job and got me interested in it’s creator.

This game, I can’t do. Clearly my mind is too chaotic to comprehend this puzzle. Chasm is a logic game. Make the fruit grow and the beer cold. Try some of the other games on that site too. Tork is just as infuriating.
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Site keywords

Ah the delights of site statistic referral keywords:

monky sex
monky voice
monky picture
monky s birthday
monky fuck women
dwayne johnson in hawaii
domo-kun merchandise only
bang bro
slap the monky

You sick bastards.

Lets provide some clarification on that list:

monky sex (female, not often enough)
monky voice (sometimes scary)
monky picture (messy)
monky fuck women (not totally out of the question but generally I go for males)
dwayne johnson in hawaii (I wouldn’t say no)
domo-kun merchandise only (I am Monky, not shop)
bang bro (incest is not what i’m into)
slap the monky (only with my permission)

So I’m sorry I’m not what you were looking for.
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Welcome to nopokemeo v1.1


Welcome to nopokemeo v1.1!

Run using Movable Type it now contains two blogs. There’s this main blog page and also the associated Daily Link Trawl where links I don’t have the time to write more fully about are placed in storage for the reader to peruse. This site is best viewed on a screen that has plenty of room for your eyes.

In time there will be a search feature allowing you to search for anything on either blog but until I get round to it you will have to wait. Kinks need to be ironed out (shame) and the site logo will be cleaned up a little, too. The archives should contain all the ramblings of Monky that were on the former site and each blog has it’s own separate archive.

Please let me know if a link is broken or you hate the new site design. Please be gentle. You can do this by either emailing me or through the gift of the comments feature below each post. Yes, you can now abuse the Monky as well as poke her.

Patrick is here too. I’m sure Pokey is lurking in the silt somewhere… Disgusting creature
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The World’s Biggest Sandwich


The World’s Biggest Sandwich


Maybe i'm posting this because i'm hungry... AP Photo/Jaime Puebla


“A man takes a piece of the world’s biggest sandwich, Saturday, April 24, 2004 in Mexico City. The cheese, ham, mayonnaise and lettuce sandwich which measures 3.50 x 3.50 meters (11.5 x 11.5 feet) holds a Guinness Record.”

Stupid but somehow I feel happy when looking at it.

Did they build the bleachers especially for this sandwich? What exciting things could you see if you sat there? The bread coming out of the giant tin? The people raking the bits of lettuce about? This man has just gouged a big hole in the bread- Has he washed his hands? The other people in the background seem to be wearing appropriate protection but if I was going to eat some of the sandwich I don’t think I’d want people getting up to their elbows in my lunch.
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Bed Politics


*Sigh* Today has been about that particular form of human expression. My car has been crashed into, the weather somehow feels opressive, my exhibition deadline is fast approaching and I feel very drained. I’m missing some skin. I don’t mean sex (though I wouldn’t exactly say no), I mean close physical contact with someone else. Holding someone, feeling the warm grain of their skin against my face, the way that when they’re asleep and they shift position they reflexively pull you closer. I don’t see myself as small and when I’m upright I don’t notice my relative size to my bed sharer, but I still find it amazing how small I feel when I am lying next to them; the way their back is a wall so much taller than me. There are so many things I could go on about here, but I will stop so as to prevent total coma settling upon the reader.

It is still very tempting however. To avoid the schmaltz do not read on (more…)
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Men Buying For Ladies

Whilst browsing beautiful swimwear that I am going to wear when I am in Hawai’i (when my body is comprised of less fat and I have got over my fear of the bikini), I came across this delightful and useful piece of information:

“The easiest way to determine the size for your ladyfriend is to have a look in her lingerie drawer at the sizes she is currently wearing. This may not always be possible and if the thought of being caught browsing through her lingerie drawer put you off there is another easier method which surprisingly works quite well. Think of her bust as a piece of fruit. The equivalent fruit size matches the cup size you should buy”

Fruit  
Cup Size
Lemon
A Cup
Orange
B Cup
Grapefruit  
C Cup
Melon
D Cup
From Zodee


“The underbust size will most likely be her clothing size, ie the size she would buy a T-Shirt.”

Oranges have always been one of my favourite fruits.
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10100

this made me laugh so much when I saw it yet it disturbs me how much of this stuff I understand…mabye one day I can put it to good use but hey

From The Core :

Taz ‘Rat’ Finch: How many languages do you speak?
Dr. Konrad Zimsky: Five, actually.
Taz ‘Rat’ Finch: I speak one. One Zero One Zero Zero. With that I could steal your money,your secrets, your sexual fantasies, your whole life. In any country, any time, any place I want. We multitask like you breathe. I couldn’t think as slow as you if I tried.
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Apologies for lack of posts.


Apologies for lack of posts. Will update later. Honest.

Sleep My Pretty...


Sorry all. Just fancied gratuitous “slightly incapacitated, slightly disturbing” image of Eric Bana. Can’t… help… self… *arg* Maybe on nopokemeo v1.1 i’ll have to include an eye candy image of the day. Whore Trawl. Yay.

Whilst i’m on the subject of Eye Candy (when aren’t I), Here’s a delightful tale illustrating some of the reasons why I love Kiefer UltraTart: He Kissed Me!
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